I woke up too early this
morning. I tried to think of happy, pretty things to get myself back to sleep,
but worries kept buzzing like bees around the flowers in my head. So, I decided
to do something I haven’t done in far too long: mentally recite my favorite
passage from the Bible.
It begins with Romans 8:28: “For we know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love him…” and ends with Romans
8:38-39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither
angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else
in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I finally gave up on sleep and dragged
myself out of bed for coffee. With the consciousness of day, it suddenly dawned
on me: Today is 8/28. One year ago on this day, my second child almost died.
I’ve been having some PTSD-ish symptoms
for a couple of weeks now. Anxiety, depression, a sense of impending doom. Amie
has been struggling, too. Although the majority of her physical injuries have
healed miraculously well, pain remains. The physical part often heals
more rapidly than the emotional, spiritual, and biochemical. But she’s a
fighter. Always has been.
When Amie was in 8th grade,
we decided to home-school her. I’m not sure how much she learned that year, but
we managed to have some fun ‘field trips.’ The highlight for me was Scripture
Class. (Mwaahaahaa! Mama’s got you now!)
Yes, that fidgety little thing was forced to memorize scripture for homework.
Of course, it meant I had to memorize it as well. Our longest passage was
Romans 8:28-39. We made colorful flash cards and funny mnemonics to help us
remember. For example, “trouble
or hardship or persecution or famine or
nakedness or danger or sword?” in v.
35 became “the happy people found new dance shoes.” At that time, I could not have imagined what trouble and
hardship lay ahead. I’m grateful for that blissful ignorance
now. But I’m even more grateful that those life-giving words were implanted
deep within our brains and hearts.
No matter what has happened, we know that we are “more than conquerors through him that loves us!” (v.37) I may feel more like a cowering coward, but I believe this deep spiritual truth. Faith
is a choice.
As I mentioned long ago somewhere on Katherine’s Mom’s Blog, Katherine got a
little jealous of her younger sister’s academic accomplishment, so she
memorized the passage, too. We all clung to it like a lifebuoy in the days
following her AVM rupture.
At her greatest point of suffering, Katherine
questioned God. “Have You made a mistake?
Wouldn’t it have better for everyone if I’d died?”
As she writes in Hope Heals,
“And then suddenly, before those
thoughts had even fully landed in my head and heart, I felt a deep awakening of
the Word of God, which I had known since I was a little girl. I could almost
hear this rapid-fire succession of the truths of Scripture, like a dispatch
from God Himself.
Katherine, you are not a mistake. I DON’T MAKE
MISTAKES.
…Trust Me. I
am working EVERYTHING for your good. Don’t doubt the truth just because you
are in this darkness now. What’s true in the light is true in the dark.” (Hope
Heals, p. 164)
This past year has been one of the hardest of my
life. It’s been hard for everyone in our family. For Amie, it’s been kind of
like Hell, with occasional day passes out. She’s experienced major victories
and serious setbacks. There have been legions of dragons and demons to slay, and the
struggle is not yet over.
I’m not really sure why Amie and I have both been secretly
dreading this day. Throughout the past month, its eminent arrival has brought
some flashbacks of horror and excruciating pain. But the GOOD that God has
worked from the brokenness is evident over all. From the wreckage has come
restoration. From near-death, new life. Blessing upon blessing for every pain.
Help in every battle. Love poured out in showers from angels on earth.
One year ago today, God
honored His word. He did work great
good even when “all things” includes a mother’s worst nightmare.
His goodness and mercy pursue
us relentlessly all the days of our lives.
***
Shortly after the realization of the
date this morning, I talked to a friend of Amie’s. She told me that they had spoken
last night and Amie seemed anxious. The friend said she shared a scripture with
her: Romans 8:28. She had no idea
that 8/28 was the date of Amie’s accident, nor of it’s significance for our
family.
Sometime after that, the card above fell
out of a book.
Katherine was the one that originally
noticed the symbolism of the date.
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