Honestly.

What a safe, lovely place this has become.

A community.

I cried when I read all your comments. I’m tearing up again now just thinking about them. Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me. Thank you for allowing me the freedom to be real.

There have been times when I’ve felt like a “second class citizen” in the community of faith. When I was younger, it was hard for me to stop comparing myself to others who seemed to have it all together spiritually. Those who didn’t seem to struggle with doubt and despair and vacillation and inconsistency as I did. Those who were always “Great!!!” no matter what was going on.

I grew up in an era and place where there was a lot of pretending. I’ve never been good at that. I’ve never seen the point.

Nobody’s really “Great!!!” all the time. We all have faults and fears and trials and tears. I think we owe it to each other to be honest. I think we owe it to God. He can handle it. The one thing that really annoys Him is hypocrisy. But He forgives even that the second we acknowledge it.

I promise I didn’t write the last post just so you would send some encouragement my way. Although I’ll freely admit to being an affirmation junky, I wrote it because I couldn’t write anything else. It’s what came out on the page. But your encouraging words were a sweet gift. They reminded me to share some of my own with people who need to hear them. Thank you.

The reality is that, for many of us, faith is a daily battle. It is not static; it is a vibrant, living, growing thing. We might have the faith to move mountains one day, and be hiding in a cave nursing our wounds the next. We make it harder than it has to be. But we do grow up eventually, in spite of all the ups and downs and backwards/forwards.

I guess the point of the last post is actually the whole point of Margery.

It’s the most important thing I’ve learned in my life.

In my weakness, is His strength.

In my incompleteness, is His fullness.

In my vacillation, is His faithfulness.

In my insecurity, is His security.

In my failure, is His grace.

In my sin, is His mercy.

I will keep on keeping on.

Thanks for coming with me.

I love you,

Kim

p.s. I'm in a praying kind of mood, if anyone has a need. (Don't forget to visit the prayer lady on the right side of the page.)