Really.
Ask my son-in-law.
Every now and then, I need confirmation that I’m not totally delusional… crazy without just cause.
So I make him read the encrypted codes from his wife and her sisters.
He just shakes his head.
It’s a small taste of schizophrenia.
My three girls are about as different as human beings can be. (Although they would argue that point. And sometimes I agree with them.)
“Bwaaaahhhhhaaaahhhhaaaaaa,” writes one, in response to something I’ve advised.
“What should I do about these zits?” texts another.
“Who do you think I should marry?”
“Mom, are you okay?”
“Do you like this bedspread, or the other one?”
“You’re a freak.
"At the DMV. Aaarrrggggghhhh."
"At the DMV. Aaarrrggggghhhh."
“Mom, can you come help me?”
“Bwaaaahhhhaaaahhhhaaaaaaaa.”
“At the Viceroy now…”
“Can you buy me this, Mommy?” (Picture accompanies.)
"Zuuuuuupppppp????"
"Zuuuuuupppppp????"
“James loves his Mimi.”
“At the Fairmont now…”
“ Xxxxxx is so hot.”
“Bwaaaahhhhaaaahhhhaaaaaaaa…..”
“Love you, Mom.”
“Miss you Mommy.”
“You’re not so bad sometimes, Vivi.”
“xoxoxoxoxoxoxo”
(This is the G-rated version.)
I can’t reveal the actual text messages because
a.) My husband would absolutely freak, and,
b b.) I would get kicked off the internet.
So, usually, I just throw my (figurative) hands up in the air, and yell, “They’re your problem now, not mine!!!”
Relinquish, disengage, distance, step back, relinquish.
Relinquish.
Relinquish.
She’s yours, not mine.
Yours.
Not mine.
Not mine.
I love them all beyond reason.
But they’re not mine.
I was just the oven.
Still, I like to remind them all of this:
You are not your own, you were bought with a price…
I have a friend whose mother yelled this at her as she was walking into a cool, but bad, peer group situation.
At least one of mine loved this story.
(Thanks, Barbara.)
***************
Mother-daughter relationships are said to be the most complex there are. Does anyone have any observations on that complicated transition time when little girls become women?
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6 comments:
Hahahahaha!
I can so relate to this!!
It IS complicated.
Thanks for the reminder that, after a certain point, they're NOT my problem anymore.
But letting go is hard. :)
It is hard to know where my job ends, and God's begins.
I know that I "over-mother" sometimes. It's difficult to draw the line.
I guess we just do the best we can, and let God do the rest.
And try to have a sense of humor.
It's not much better with boys! These are the two most recent txt msgs I received randomly, out of the blue with no previous dialogue:
This from my college age son who has had a job for the past three years:
"I need to get my social security card so I can get hired"
Me - "you've got a new job? When, where?"
No response from my son until I followed up with a phone call.
Other son - college graduate, working full-time, living independently - again no previous context for this message:
"By the way-I looked at kindle online and really like it, but would still rather have an iPad."
Me - "and this has to do with the price of tea in China, how?"
I think Moms would make the best writers for comedy - we have an entire repertoire to glean from!! I keep trying to release them, but they keep coming back - like boomerangs!! (And I really wouldn't trade being their Mom for all the money in the world!!)
Thanks for making me smile Kim - I needed it!
I get some hilarious texts from my girls too and it always include bwaaaahhaaahaaa! and Ha,ha,hee,hee!
As I send my oldest daughter off to college for another year I'm reminded too that she is not mine; never was.
My relationship with both of my girls has been just a wonderful blessing - not all easy but I wouldn't change it for anything.
Oh, wow.
I can hear your girls' unique voices coming through.
Vive la difference!
Makes life more interesting.
xoxo,
S.
I have three grown children - the middle one is my son. I love him to pieces but have said over and over, if I could only have boys only or girls only, I would choose girls only EVERY time. You have a different relationship with your daughters. Boys have a purpose or question for their calls. Girls call to share. It is just different. I feel blessed to have all three of them and yes, as Sally said, "letting go is hard."
Karen
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